Event Design and Stationery by Shannon O’Kelley for Southall Eden

Huge thanks to Jen Cook of Photographix for the beautiful photography!

Want to get this look at your own party or reception? Elements of this design are available from our rental inventory.

Photographer: Eden Frangipane

Planner: CJ Dickson for Williamson County Weddings

Venue: Southall Eden

Florist: Enchanted Florist

The property really sells itself- ample land, both wooded and meadow, surrounding a beautiful restored 1911 barn that seats a generous 230 people! Construction on a restroom facility adjoining the barn and a separate cabin for the bride and her bridesmaids has begun this week, and will be completed in April. Interest in May weddings has been overwhelming, and we couldn’t be more excited!

If you are a Kentucky area bride looking for a farm venue, or a photographer looking for a unique setting for bridal portraits and engagement shoots, check out their new website. Amy’s daughter was married at the property last year, and I’m sure it won’t be difficult to imagine adding your own touches to create your dream wedding!

Why Weddings Are So Expensive

by Xochitl Gonzalez,Co-founder, AaB Creates/ Always a Bridesmaid

Working in the wedding business in New York, one of the hardest parts of my job is telling couples who may call for information and tell me about their dream wedding, that their budget is not large enough to make their particular dream come true. The national average for wedding costs is somewhere around $27,000, but in a city like New York, that doesn’t get you very far. And, even in areas where that will buy you a very nice wedding, it is still a big chunk of change for the average couple or family.

Often, when couples start planning a wedding, the question soon becomes “Why are weddings so expensive?” This is typically followed by the thought “We could put a down payment on a house for this money.” And then, at some point, the question is asked, “Are they charging us more because they know that it’s a wedding!?”

I’m about to reveal a secret to you that isn’t widely discussed: the answer is yes. In seven of 10 cases you are being charged ever so slightly more because it’s a wedding. But, it’s not because you are suddenly “a mark” for markups. It’s because with a wedding comes a need to provide perfection (or something close to it), and perfection comes with a slightly higher price tag.

Let’s take for instance, a florist. On Tuesday, Mr. Flowers gets a call from Miss X, who is planning a fundraiser for her charity dinner of 150 guests. She lays out her needs to him: 15 centerpieces for the dinner and she cannot spend more than $4,000 including tax and delivery. She was thinking the color scheme would be all white. She has a personal aversion to lilies, but other than that, she’s open to his suggestions and is happy to take his input into how to get the most bang for her buck and make it look fabulous.

On Wednesday he gets a call from Miss Y, who heard from Miss X that he is a pleasure to work with. She is getting married in six months and would like to come in and meet with him about her reception flowers. She arrives with images from her Pinterest. She would like the centerpieces to contain blush garden roses, white hydrangea, pale pink peony and bit of sweet pea in pink and white. She explains her obsession with a certain mercury glass vase that she saw on a blog and would like the centerpieces to be in that same container. She’s anticipating 150 guests at the reception. Mr. Flowers tells her he will get her a proposal.

He contemplates the cost to him to create what the bride wants: he must build in the cost of obtaining those exact flowers that she requested, and build in enough room for both fluctuating flower prices AND his own profit. He doesn’t currently own the container the bride wants, so he prices out purchasing that container for use at her event. He also needs to add in bouquets for the bride and her bridesmaids. He knows he will have at least two more meetings with her between now and the wedding and will likely have to put together one or two sample arrangements, which are costly to him. Additionally, because the event is on a weekend AND he must pay his staff to return very late at night on a Saturday to clean up, he adds in that additional cost. His proposal to Miss X comes in at $7,000.

Miss X is distraught and annoyed. That was way more than she wanted to spend and a lot more than she knows her friend Miss Y was charged for the benefit she was planning. She doesn’t care how good a florist she is, she is going to take her business elsewhere. Mr. Flowers never hears from her again.

I offer up this anecdote NOT to chastise the bride for being particular about her wedding flowers; I firmly believe with all my hear that a wedding is the time to be a bit exacting about what you’d like. Rather, this is to give you, the bride or groom on a budget, some insight into how it is that “wedding” expenses can get out of hand with hopes that with this information you can be a smarter “wedding shopper.”

Mr. Flowers would be happy to book the wedding of Miss X at $4,000, perhaps not as happy as he would be at $7,000, but he’d be content. However, once Miss X came in with her list of specific requests, from a business perspective, he sent her a proposal that met her requirements while still covering his profit margin.

Too often brides and grooms approach vendors with such specific requests and desires, not realizing that this doesn’t result in getting them the best price from their vendors. If you ask for something, the vendor will tell you what it costs to make that happen: be it flowers, or invitations or catering or cakes. They are, after all, in the business of making dreams happen. However, they are still in a business, and sometimes producing those dreams can get expensive.

So, what is a bride to do? How can she get what she wants, more or less, for less? The short answer is: for more flexible pricing, take a more flexible approach. Approach your vendors with three things: a sense of your budget, a sense of what it is that you like and an open mind.

Let’s revisit Mr. Flowers and Miss X, shall we? Instead of calling someone else, Miss X calls his studio and says, “Thank you for the proposal, but I think the $7,000 is a out of my price range. I really loved your work, and I’m curious if there are any changes that we could make to the proposal to bring it in closer to $5,000?” Mr. Flowers, now understanding both the “look” that the bride wants AND her budget, makes a number of suggestions that won’t sacrifice the finished product, but will cut the costs. Pleased at his flexibility and willingness to walk her through the process, she hires him and spends the next six months certain she is in capable hands.

For the couple on a budget, a little flexibility and an open mind can go a long, long way.

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Here are a few trends I think we will see a lot of in 2012 and 2013:

• Ikat patterned textiles (think kilim rugs and upholstery)
• Ombre (think gradient, prounounce OM-ber) in blues, greens, purples, and pinks
• Shades of teal, turquoise, and dark jade
• Natural domestic feathers in taupes, browns, and ivories
• Gold gilding and accents
• Southwestern and Native American elements and patterns
• Maps, especially vintage in sepia tones
• Mercury glass, both in traditional silver and in colors
• Chevron patterns in pastels and bold yellows
• Natural Stone such as agate and quartz
• Antlers and faux animal heads
• Tree branches, both real and synthetic
• Gray, white and yellow color schemes
• Embossed and textured ceramics
• Rainbow (in non-gay pride situations)
• Gray- still the new black
• Birds, bird, birds
• Burlap and French linen, especially printed or stamped with French text
• Succulents and cacti
• Distressed furniture with antique finishes

Maggie Austin Cakes

Photography: Jonathon Campbell

Event Design: Shannon O’Kelley for Southall Eden

Coordination: Meredith Zeller for Bridal Blueprints

Flowers: Caprice Palmer for The Enchanted Florist

Dress: The Spoiled Lady

Hair and Makeup: Katie Russo

Let’s face it. Weddings are crazy expensive. I’m all about finding ways to save money, and there are lots of ways you can do so. But if you only splurge on one thing for your wedding, LET IT BE PHOTOGRAPHY. That’s right, I’m a venue owner and a stationery designer and I’m not telling you that your splurge item should not be one of those things, but photography. Why? Because its true! Chances are you know someone who is a “photographer” and it can be tempting to hire them for cheap or even have them shoot your wedding as a wedding gift, but hear me now and believe me later, DON’T DO IT!!!

Here’s why:

1. You will not get this chance again.

This is your wedding. Hopefully you will only be having one. Isn’t it worth the investment? The #1 regret I hear from Southall Eden brides about their wedding day is that they are not happy with their photos. Don’t be one of them. Besides, when else will all your family and friends be gathered in one place? Probably not until your funeral. My own sister had a very mediocre photographer at her wedding. Within a year, both my grandma and my mom passed away. Those are the last family pictures we will ever have, and they are not good. If only she had hired a great photographer…

2. It’s not just for you, its for everyone who loves you.

Of course your wedding day should be all about you and your fiance, but don’t forget how much time, effort, and money your family and wedding party have put into it as well. They deserve some nice photos to remember the occasion by. But even more than that, think about future generations. Won’t your kids and grandchildren want to see these? What girl doesn’t love seeing old wedding photos of the generations before her? This is the one aspect of your wedding (aside from your marriage itself) that will last forever.

3. A wedding photographer can anticipate what will happen next.

This is why you should not only get a great photographer, you should get a great wedding photographer. The word “photographer” encompasses a variety of people- family photographers, fashion photographers, commercial photographers, etc. Being good in one area doesn’t necessarily mean you are good in another. If you hire someone whose livelihood is shooting weddings, there is a pretty good chance they have done this enough times to not only know where they need to be in order to capture certain moments, but also random things like what kind of light will come through a stained glass window at 5:00 in May, etc.

4. A great photographer can turn an ordinary wedding into an extraordinary wedding.

I have seen this first hand on multiple occasions. A couple is on a tight budget and doesn’t have a lot of money for decor or fancy extras at their wedding. But they hire a great photographer, and lo and behold when you see the photos you would think it was a luxury event. The photographer captures everything at its best, and everything that is wonderful about the day, and when you look at your photos you remember your wedding day fondly.

5. If it doesn’t turn out well, you don’t want to have hard feelings with a friend.

This is a big one. If you hire (or ask a favor from) a friend and the photos don’t turn out well, it can seriously damage your relationship. Every time you see that person for the rest of your life you will think of how s/he “ruined” your wedding photos. It may not be intentional, but you will. Its kind of like if they ran over your cat with their car tire. You know its not intentional, but you can’t help but associating them with this one unfortunate act.

So how much does a great wedding photographer cost? This depends on where you live and what all is included in their rate. Some photographers quote their rates for shooting only, while others quote packages that include both shooting and prints, albums, digital images, etc. When you are researching photographers you should keep this in mind and make sure you are comparing apples to apples with regard to pricing. I encourage couples getting married at my venue to budget at least $3,500 for photography, but some spend as much as $8,000. Sure that’s a lot of money, but what you get in return is priceless. How can you argue with that???

Photography: Ulmer Studios

Planning: Mr. and Mrs. Events